PTSD & Travelling in a car
The following blog is a personal insight into how PTSD can interfere with daily tasks. The person who wrote this has also spoke about what he thinks would help him when experiencing a panic attack or stressful moment.
“People suffering with PTSD see the world differently to everyone else, for example; you may be driving in a 30mph zone and not notice the person in front of you is doing 26mph. Because it simply isn’t a big deal, even if you have noticed their slow speed you are aware, they have a ‘child on board’ sticker on the rear of their car or that they are an older driver.
People suffering with PTSD are more than a couple steps ahead of everyone else, all the time, I explain it as a rubbish superpower. We have noticed the speed, noticed the driver, noticed the sticker, noticed the 30mph zone arguably should actually be a 40mph zone, weighed up the entire situation and came to the conclusion there’s zero threat apart from one thing, the driver in front. Even if you are a very aware individual without PTSD and have noticed all of the things mentioned, you simply do not react. Because it’s simply not a big deal in a normal world. Depending on the situation people with PTSD will notice and stop an outburst in time, which is obviously the best outcome. But an extreme situation will be wanting to inflict serious pain on an individual, up to death. It sounds scary and a very sad way to live but unfortunately this is not an exaggeration. This is one of the reasons people suffering with PTSD chose to stay indoors avoiding any social event (unless it’s on their terms), or any normal day to day activity that could possibly make this extreme anger a reality.
Advice
If you find yourself in a car with someone with PTSD, you will probably notice they insist on driving so they’re in control, its these little things they insist on that if possible, you should allow. Remember they do not think like you, this may not be a big deal to you, but to them it really could mean the difference between a successful day or another bad day. While on the journey if you find they are no longer talking and are zoned in to for example; the car in front, try and calmly get their attention back, by talking about literally anything but the car ahead. Remember they are more than a few steps ahead of you and have noticed the car and the entire situation before you have noticed there has been a pause in the convocation. This will obviously take a lot of practice to notice a protentional problem before the outburst. But for now, at least be aware of it, be aware there’s always a problem waiting to happen for them, their brains are on self-defence mode and unlike a normal job closing time doesn’t end at 5pm it is literally 24/7. If you are at least aware they are looking for problems, you will learn to notice them sooner and sooner.
When you talk to them, as I said before try and mention something they like, or something they are looking forward to. I personally find making a base layer of a future conversation before you leave the house works well, because they are steps ahead of you. If they feel like a conversation is fake or forced within the car, this may also bring out a reaction. What I have learned works before you leave the house is talking about my favourite meal, or a cheat meal or something they will be naturally be looking forward to, when you notice the prolonged pause and excessive focus on a situation in the car, simply mention something about that pre planned conversation, like for example ‘actually the curry sauce at that place has gone down hill lately, hasn’t it?’ ending whatever pre-planned statement with a follow up question for them so they are pulled out of the battle with themselves and whatever situation is causing threat to them and pulled straight back into the car with you. Most of the time you will find, the short break in their focus and being forced to think about anything else is enough to end the problem they may have with a situation surrounding them.
If for example you haven’t caught the problem in time, under no circumstances retaliate at their outburst. Don’t become their enemy in the car, because all that anger will be switched onto you. Remember they do love you, otherwise you simply wouldn’t be allowed next to them, so no pain will be sent your way. But be aware, they are at war with themselves and have been building up a frustration for god knows how long into this drive and love or not, If you cause a reaction to their anger you will be getting a verbal retaliation. This isn’t because they don’t love you or think bad of you. Remember, they simply are feeling threatened and this is them protecting themselves. It is a cruel illness, but this is why charities are out there helping people like you. These aren’t the men you sent away, but with a few coping mechanisms you can bring them back slowly.”