Welcome to the team Wendi Taylor
We are delighted to welcome Wendi Taylor to our team. Wendi is a trained Psychotherapist and will work with us in order to offer the vital support for families that are supporting their loved ones with PTSD.
BIOGRAPHY
I have been interested in psychology since school. Like a lot of people who come into the mental health profession, I had a full career in something completely unconnected. In my case it was Military Air Traffic Control, an industry I worked in for 16 years.
When I retired from service, this interest soon became a passion.
I started with an introductory Level 2 in Counselling Skills course, and moved on to BTEC Level 3. After completing a 2 year Level 5 Advanced Diploma course, I took up placements within Supporting Minds (Lincoln) and Counselling & Support for Young people (CASY) based in Newark. Once qualified, I began teaching other students instructing on both Level 2 and Level 3 courses. I have worked in private practice, schools and university settings.
I am an Integrative Counsellor which means that I see merit in many psychotherapeutic practices. I use my experience and knowledge to establish the best way of working to meet the client’s needs. By supporting & guiding the client, I aim to empower them to find their own solutions. I believe in the ‘here and now’ and that people can alter their future, and not be anchored by the past. I see myself as a facilitator for change in therapy, not a ‘fixer’ or ‘advice giver’.
As a retired service person I have a professional interest in Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
What does Spring mean to you?
It has felt like a long, hard winter so it was beyond delightful to see the early showing of crocus, daffodil and tulips appearing. Generally we say winter can be a difficult season for some but this past wintery season has been hard. It’s not unusual to hear words like ‘bleak’, ‘dreary’ and ‘dank’ to describe this cold season. Indeed, sufferers of Seasonal Affected Disorder (SAD) know all too well how the shorter hours of daylight and lack of sunshine can affect their mood and mental well being.
Couple that with what seems to be an endless national Covid lockdown with its stream of restrictions on movement & socialisation and this winter can certainly be described as Shakespeare’s ‘Winter of Discontent.’
Of course, it isn’t all misery, as there is beauty to be found in the frosty days of midwinter and we all can enjoy a session in the garden making snow angels or building snowmen. I personally love the colder months and even chose a winter wedding.
Winter has always been a time to hunker down, to hibernate and recharge our annual batteries ready for the new year to arrive. New Year and we’re making plans to achieve new goals, be it losing weight or climbing Kilimanjaro. Some embark on Dry January, pledging not to drink any alcohol for a month. Some sign up to gym memberships they won’t use and subscriptions to health advocates they may not need. There seems to be a collective shedding of the past and a desperate urge to embrace the new, to reinvent ourselves through these changes in habit. There are some who will succeed in these ventures, but many may not because the changes they need to make are not so easy to identify or remedy. This sentiment for changing the self seems to hang around us as the days become longer and the last of the frosts disappear. Suddenly Spring is here and we start again; new dreams, new hopes.
Spring, historically, was a time when house keepers would clean the house linens ready to entertain guests arriving in warmer times. We know it as ‘Spring Cleaning’. Trust me, I am just as guilty as the next person of spending weeks “Marie Kondo’ing” my house. It feels cathartic to rid the house of the old and to sweep through with the fresh and the new. The garden starts to come alive and the birds become far more active in the mornings for my liking as I’m not an early riser. Lambs appear in the fields and the world is all rosy.
If you’ve read this far, you may be thinking ‘well, maybe that’s how I’m supposed to feel but I don’t’ or ‘that’s how I used to feel about Spring but not anymore.’ Maybe you are not filled with excitement at the arrival of Spring. It could be that you feel anxious or unsettled by the changes that face you, or by the expectations of family and friends as they become excited to go outdoors on sunny days.
Ask yourself if the lockdown restrictions and the colder months have been a welcome excuse to avoid spending time with friends or family, to avoid social interactions with others, to avoid involving yourself in activities you maybe once enjoyed. Have you found comfort in the known, and safe environment of your own space? Is it hard to imagine emerging from this wintery cave? Has life become less complicated for you & your family with less responsibilities or expectations?
So what does Spring mean to you now?
Are you dreading the easing off of lockdown restrictions and the demands of others being placed on you? Are you struggling to imagine feeling anything but anxious or depressed despite how lovely a day it may be?
As a PTSD sufferer or a supporter of someone who is struggling with this condition, you may be wondering how you can mentally navigate out of winter hibernation towards Spring & Summer.
Incrementally, you can take positive steps to prepare yourself for the coming months.
Communication. The most important thing you can do is to communicate your concerns and feelings to others. This may be to a loved one, partner, friend or colleague. It’s important to find someone you trust who will respect and hear your concerns. Seeking the help of a professional counsellor is one way to find non judgemental support. Disclosure through My Oppo support group is also encouraged, as this may be a place you can identify your feelings or fears through others and their experiences.
Structure. Structure your time. It is a natural human response to find structure, and is especially noted amongst military personnel who are familiar with structure and hierarchy.
My Oppo advocates the use of a diary (My Daily High Performance Planner) but you can use any method you prefer to structure your time. Use your planner to monitor your diet and exercise needs, any ongoing fitness plans, noting down feelings and preparing yourself to be able to handle or respond to potential triggers.
Empowerment. Feel able to say ‘no’ to demands placed on you. This doesn’t mean using ‘no’ as an avoidance strategy. If you are single, saying ‘no’ doesn’t need compromise but if you are in a relationship/family, saying ‘no’ may affect others. There are times when you will need more rest, you may be exhausted from work or therapy, from lack of sleep or from intrusive anxious thoughts. You may feel you need to excuse yourself from obligations, and it can be empowering to be able to do this. However, try to meet any plans you have made and noted into your planner.
Acceptance. Accept that any changes you make or new habits you embark on, may not run entirely smoothly. You may pick up a niggling injury that causes you to suspend a training regime. You may not meet every target in your planner. You are doing your best, so do not become disheartened. Tools such as planners are there to support your efforts, they are not to remind you of any failures or short comings you believe you may have. Forgive yourself those, and start each day afresh. Be kind to yourself and accept that you are doing your best.
Connect. Connect with family & friends when you are able to. Be the ‘real’ you. It’s easy for us to wear masks, the dutiful son, the funny friend, the supportive brother, the efficient subordinate. We all fit into roles within our workplaces, family and friendship groups. You don’t need to perform; you don’t need to pretend.
Find comfort in nature and aim to spend time within it. Explore your local area, noticing green spaces, parks and recreation areas. Places with fewer people and more wildlife may give you a welcome place of peace to enjoy the brighter, warmer days. Simple pleasures like a picnic, reading a book or listening to music can be enjoyed in an uncomplicated environment.
Remember, Spring does not need to be about change or throwing the old out for the new. Spring can also be a regeneration of the past. Plants often die off over winter but start to regrow when the warmer spring days arrive. Use this symbolism to reconnect with yourself. Hobbies or activities that gave you joy in the past can become a welcome comfort again.
Finally, I find the words of Bette Midler’s “The Rose” suitably poignant.
‘Just remember in the winter,
far beneath the bitter snow,
lies the seed,
that with the sun’s love,
in the spring,
becomes the rose.’